“Have you taken your meds?” (Or, my journey with medication)

Yes I have taken my meds.

Tonight was the first time ever. 

A couple of weeks ago, I was diagnosed with post-natal depression and anxiety. Signs and symptoms I experienced included:

• Feeling isolated, weepy and down 
• Feeling overwhelmed anytime my husband isn’t home to help me
• Feeling a sense of failure and agitation when I can’t settle my youngest child or when he cries (which is often)
• Not feeling like myself anymore
• A couple of anxiety attacks – shakiness, crying, nausea, stabbing pain in stomach
• Waves of anxiety coming over me at random intervals
• Thoughts of wanting to run away and not come back, and even very briefly of not wanting to be here at all.

Fortunately, I do have a strong desire still to be here for my husband and children, and myself. And while some of the symptoms have been ongoing, the more severe ones have been recent and less frequent, which means I have intervened early and treatment will likely be easier and quicker than if I had let it continue to go on.

After going to my doctor, she got me to take a blood test to rule out thyroid issues or iron deficiencies. She then prescribed me Lexapro, which is an SSRI and used to treat depression and anxiety disorders. I was unsure whether I truly needed it, but after trying to spend a full day at home with the boys by myself, I found I was not coping. And then the next day my anxiety was being triggered again by other things, and I decided I wanted to be able to stay home with my boys by myself and feel like I could cope and maybe even enjoy it. I also read that having a depressed mother can be linked to poor outcomes for children, and that isn’t something I want.

So I’ve decided to give Lexapro a try. The first two weeks can bring some side effects, so I’ll see how I go. I am also going to be finding a new psychologist to help me cope with my anxiety/depression, and if both these go well, then I should be feeling better and coping better soon.

I will try and post updates here for anyone who is interested, maybe about to try medication themselves for the first time, or just curious about how it all works. 

I want to share this because I want to try and reduce stigma about it, especially amongst the Christian community, where sometimes mental health issues are treated as though they are spiritual issues. Maybe more on that another time. For now, I just want to say that mental health is like physical health and just as I take a Panadol for my headache and gratefully accept God’s provision for my physical pain through medicine, I do the same for my mental health. 

Love to hear your experiences with mental health. Have you ever seen a mental health professional or taken medication? How did you feel about it all?